A Guy Reported a Fake Burglary to Get Out of Work . . . And Got in Trouble with His Boss, Wife, and Neighbors
So now his neighbors hate him, his wife thinks he's a lazy moron, and he got arrested for providing false information to police.  No word on whether or not he still has a job. 
A Drunk Guy Breaks Into a Day Spa, Eats a Bunch of Hot Pockets, But Passes Out Before He Can Finish Their Ice Cream
He must've thought he hit the jackpot.

A Man Tries to Break Into an Arby's and Winds Up Stuck In the Vents For 10 Hours


Unfortunately for him, ventilation shafts in real life aren't quite as spacious as they are in the movies . . . and he got STUCK.